January 2012
3 posts
I just want to hold your hand
Anonymous asked: Come back I miss you and I miss your words
November 2011
1 post
1 tag
It was March. If I looked outside of my window, I saw snow melting, the sun trying to peek through the persistent overcast skies. I was wearing one of your t-shirts and across it read “Welcome to paradise.” Stupid shirt, I was in hell.
Sometimes I would still call out to you. In the morning when I was still half-asleep and plenty delirious, facing the wall, I would feel your presence behind me,...
June 2011
2 posts
I want you, you, you, you and you but especially you. You with the tight jeans loose in the ass ketchup stain on your white t-shirt with the shaky hands at the table facing mine. Gave me the eyes once or twice and my hands that never shake are lighting a cigarette and I know you are staring, like you have been, you are waiting for me to wonder who you are, inhale, I don’t care who you are, look...
June 8th, 2011 - 2:46am
It is almost three o’clock in the morning and I am not tired at all. I am actually very tired. I am the kind of tired that sleep cannot fix. I am laying on my stomach in a bed that does not belong to me and I am thinking of how maybe we all see things differently. Maybe the colors and the shapes and the vivacity of things I am looking at through these eyes are not...
May 2011
1 post
May 11th, 2011 - 10:55pm
Wake up every morning only to wish you hadn’t and what has this life become? A series of the same events each and everyday and you still go to bed at night with nothing but your sheets to give your lonely heart the reassurance it requires every single fucking night. Two hours later and you’re turning over wishing for someone else’s breath on your neck...
April 2011
2 posts
April 23rd, 2011 - 11:15pm
White sheets white walls white furniture I am drowning in this color that is not even a color. My brain is all washed out but I swallow three more pretty pills because I know what I will be after this. I am used to this feeling of nothing, of this white, of this mind-numbing life. They say you are not defined by your actions, but by the content of your character. What...
One time I was on the tippy top of a mountain and I was up so high that I took a bite of the clouds and I closed my eyes and let it melt on my tongue and everyone asks me what it tasted like and I always say “a cloud”, because i’m not sure how else to describe the taste and we raced from the tippy top to the sky and I won because I always do and these new nike shoes are also very...
March 2011
5 posts
March 24th, 2011 - 9:50pm
Sitting in my bed and it’s always the right temperature in here. Today in the grocery store I smiled at a boy I have never seen before, he was tall. I like tall. I was sitting in my car smoking a cigarette and he walked by, I winked again before I left, never looked back. There is something so exciting in connecting with a complete stranger, and feeling that...
March 18th, 2011 - 11:29pm
I think I was born broken, or maybe I was destined to become this way. And I don’t mean this in a way that makes you want to feel sad or sympathetic because I don’t want nor need nor feel as though I deserve those things either. You can’t help who you are, right? When I was young, I used to purposely do things that I knew would draw blood. I would...
March 18th, 2011 - 1:14am
Padding down the hallway and I’m thanking whoever is in the clouds that you have carpet in your house instead of hardwood floors like in mine. Hand on your doorknob and I’m wondering why your mom didn’t trust us to sleep together, putting me in another room like she thought that would stop us. Nothing can stop us. Push open your door and why does...
March 15th, 2011 - 12:03am
I shouldn’t feel this way. Wake up every morning only to wish I hadn’t. When did it become hard? Sitting on the floor of my bathroom and you’re on my mind, and you too. Close my eyes and we’re together - on the floor next to your bed crying and laughing and beneath the sheets of your bed, sweaty and full of passion. I covered all of the mirrors...
March 5th, 2011 - 4:13pm
Wake up in the morning next to someone but when you open your eyes you’re alone. A shiver down your spine, a hair in your toothbrush, no milk for cereal. Lately you’ve developed this habit where you lay in bed for at least an hour before you get up and stare at the ceiling fan. You turn it on before you go to bed at night, but when you wake up each morning it’s always...
February 2011
10 posts
February 28th, 2011 - 2:42am
This is the first time I’ve been cold in days. I have three hours and twenty-six minutes before I have to be up and I don’t think I’m going to sleep tonight. I was okay before you and I will be okay after you. This weekend I fell in love, maybe not with a person, but with the idea of a person. If I close my eyes I can remember the way you breathed;...
February 21st, 2011 - 12:32 pm
Classes were cancelled today because of the “hazardous” amounts of ice on the roads. I’ve been in my bed most of the morning. Overcast skies, scrambled eggs, three cups of tea with enough sugar to diagnose me with the early stages of diabetes. I need a haircut, new socks, and a beautiful boy’s head in between my legs. I won’t remember your name when it’s over,...
February 11th 2011 - 8:42pm
Why do people assume things? I think that’s my number one worst pet-peeve, ever. Don’t assume anything especially when you don’t know shit to begin with. Lately I feel really tired, and not just physically either, but mentally emotionally and just overall in general. I feel like if I’m don’t get out of here soon, I’m going to fucking...
February 10th, 2011 - 4:35pm
You are nothing like a best friend should be you’re selfish you have horrible attitude problems you think the world revolves around you you think that you’re so “original” you think that everyone should have pity on you because your parents are divorced you think that you should date jackasses so everyone feels bad when you break up...
February 10th, 2011 - 4:27pm
Have you ever been so tired where you just literally cannot function and I don’t mean literally I mean where you feel like the weight of the whole world is pressing down on your chest and you feel like you’re going to explode into a million pieces at any given moment? I’m so tired of people putting me down and thinking they can tell me what to do who...
You know when you’re lying there in your bed like you’ve been doing all day long because you don’t really feel like getting up at all but you don’t really feel like being there either and then you look over at the clock and you’ve already wasted half of the day lying there in your bed doing nothing and you text half of your phone book and no one responds and then you start to wonder why they’re...
February 10th, 2011 - 12:09am
It’s been a week since you’ve been gone and I still have the pillow you used that one time you slept over and I know it sounds stupid but I replaced it with mine so I can fall asleep to the smell of you every single night
February 8th, 2011 - 9:23pm
Do you ever have those moments when you’re driving when you realize you’re someplace but you have absolutely no recollection of how you got there? I think this happens to me more than it probably should and lately I find myself spacing out more and more and more and more and I don’t know why I just stop and think and think and feel detached and unreal...
February 8th, 2011 - 9:16am
Today in the library I was talking about prom with my friends and I noticed you weren’t in there but I didn’t say anything because I’m supposed to be pretending not to care about you anymore. I didn’t really realize what was going on until I saw you walk past, and my eyes followed you until you circled our table like you were planning on...
February 8th, 2011 - 1:37am
Day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything’s so fucking different