March 24th, 2011 - 9:50pm

Sitting in my bed and it’s always the right temperature in here. Today in the grocery store I smiled at a boy I have never seen before, he was tall. I like tall. I was sitting in my car smoking a cigarette and he walked by, I winked again before I left, never looked back. There is something so exciting in connecting with a complete stranger, and feeling that feeling in your stomach heart chest blood pumping through your veins, you do not know this person but you know them so well in that one moment and what if you weren’t the type of person who always ran? My heart swelled with love, but now it just hurts. I don’t want to talk to you anymore. I wish my fingers were longer, I wish I had my own apartment, I wish your hand was in mine. Come home every single day only to go straight to sleep and why do I do that? I think it’s because of the feeling I get when I wake up. Dark in my room but not too dark and warm, so warm, my brain half-asleep and my pores dripping passion. I want to live in my dreams. If I could take it all back, I would do it all again. I would take it all back and I would do it again, anything to feel the way I felt when I was with you. There are things you don’t know about me, that you will never know about me because you have never will never take the time to do so. I look through the whole back of chips to find the one that is seasoned the most, I can never get my eyebrows to look right, if I could I would close my eyes vanish from here and be gone just be somewhere else just go and never look back. I wish my memory was wiped clean - from you, you, and especially you. You can’t miss what you’ve never had. You can’t miss what you’ve never had. You cannot miss what you’ve never fucking had.